Thursday, April 27, 2006

Let's Play Global Thermonuclear War


Via Wizbang

Welcome, David. Let's play Global Thermonuclear War.

Iran declares they are developing nuclear technology. They say that it is strictly for peaceful purposes, but insist that if they wanted, they have the right to have nuclear weapons.

Do you:
A) Protest, but not too strenuously?
B) Stop them?

A

Iran says that the United States has to withdraw all forces from the Middle East, including all Navy ships from the Persian Gulf, or face "dire consequences."

Do you:
A) Comply under protest?
B) Refuse and confront them?

A

Iran announces that they now possess nuclear weapons. They have previously shown that they have missiles that can deliver those weapons to anywhere in the Middle East, as well as parts of Europe.

Do you:
A) Protest to the UN?
B) Stop them?

A


Iran says that the Zionists have to evacuate Palestine and return to their countries of origin, or face "grave consequences."

Do you:
A) Protest to the UN?
B) Confront them?

A


Tel Aviv has just been nuked. Estimated casualties: 100,000+.

Do you wish to:
A) Urge Israel to show restraint and protest to the UN?
B) Strike back against Iran directly?

A


Israel has launched its own nuclear weapons against Iran. Iran has launched its remaining nuclear weapons against Israel. Several weapons have missed their intended targets, landing in Iraq, Jordan, Syria. The Arab world en masse has declared war on what remains of Israel. Large clouds of fallout are drifing across the Middle East, endangering countless civilians and US forces stationed there.


Estimated casualties:
Iran: 5 million+
Israel: 4.5 million+
Jordan: 900,000+
Iraq: 500,000+
Syria: 200,000+
US: 6,000+

Price of oil breaks $200/barrel. Flow of tankers through the Persian Gulf comes to standstill. Gasoline and energy shortages throughout much of the world. China declares ownership of Spratly Islands and their untapped oil reserves. Philippines, Taiwan, Viet Nam all protest and threaten to take military action. Japan allies itself with Philippines and backs their claim. War breaks out.

Mexico offers the United States oil at $150/barrel -- as long as the US eases back on its enforcement of border security and illegal aliens.

Much of the Arab world blames the US for the nuclear exchange between Israel and Iran, as we supported Israel for far too long and permitted them to have the nuclear weapons they used to hit back. Terrorism against US targets at home and abroad skyrockets.


GAME OVER


Do you wish to play again?

10 comments:

Epaminondas said...

The estimates are way low ...use of Israel's 200+ nukes (some say 600) would leave no one in a lot of places...Iran has many large cities.

The clouds of radioactive material difting eastward, with high lethality ...well, look at the map ..Pakistan, northern India, China, land limimted medical facilities, arable land made wasteland ... you have about 45-50 million casualties, and unbelieveable refugee problems.
Iraq and Jordan, would be almost completely subsumed by radioactive fallout from every weapon which hit Israel.
And this, of course, assumes no one releases a biological weapon.

Today's leaders are being EXTREMELY irresponsible playing by the 'old' rules.

Pastorius said...

Wow, that was fun. I know I didn't win, but I would imagine I get a copy of the home version, and years supply of Bon Bons, or something.

Epaminondas said...

There used to be game called world diplomacy or something back in the 80's abotu the time that Nicaragua was Sandinista, and Patirck Swayze and Charlie SHeen made Red Dawn ... if you avoided WW3 you ended up communist, if you resisted you got WW3.

Christine said...

This game, no matter how it's played, has no winners.

It just determines who and how many losers there will be.

And Pastorius, actually they are bomb, bombs.

Pastorius said...

Oh, I thought we were just trying to have fun.

Anonymous said...

As the author of the piece, I freely accept the numbers are probably on the low side. I pulled them utterly out of my ass, based on established populations and a certain "bounce the rubble" effect. I have no idea how to properly calculate accurate numbers, and quite frankly am glad I don't. I have enough trouble sleeping at night.

J.
(Jay Tea of wizbangblog.com)

Christine said...

Hi Jay,

Trying to come up with numbers at this point is nearly impossible. Too many contingencies to take into account.

You did the best you could do at this point.

Thanks.

Pastorius said...

Yeah, it's not whether you win or lose, it how you play the game, Jay Tea.

:)

And, believe me, this game is fun, fun, fun.

Anonymous said...

Canadian oil sands finally become profitable.

Anonymous said...

Oh and here on Balcans we finnaly get rid of U.S. troops...so we can continue with our own self-extermination (howewer,not by nuking - we prefer,um,cold and sharp weapons>:))