Well, things certainly have changed since this post first came out in early December of 2005. We were all innocent Cartoon Virgins back then! But just like Madonna, there is no going back now!! ;)
Can you believe this has only been going on for 3 months? :)
FU2RMAN & FRIENDS 'TOP TEN LIST' ON: 72 VIRGINS
1. Why exactly 72 virgins (or whatever the number is) ? Why not 71 or 73?
2. Does eternal bliss = (1) virgin every hour x (3) days straight! Its the only "72" calculation I could come up with.
3. Or maybe the cosine of pie = 72???
4. Once all 72 are eventually non-virgins, are they still “available” for any future fun? Or by definition, does that mean ... :(
5. So if you are shit outta luck after 72, is the potential suicide bomber aware of this small but very important fact? I don't know about you but this would definitely affect my decision making process. I'm usually pro-choice but this would surely make me pro-life…Mine!!
6. Does one need to get married to these virgins before one can actually have sex with them? If not, would that be a sin?
7. Can one actually commit a sin in heaven? Especially if this was all set up by, you know, the big man.
8. And if it is a sin, do you then lose all your "privileges" and are you now headed "elsewhere"?
9. What an ironic and unexpected turn of events that would be, huh?! I just hope these people have really thought through all the possibilities before the "big bang".
10. And finally, and this really is the big one for me, what if, (drum roll please) ......SEX DOES NOT EXIST......in the after life?
Suicide Bomber Recruiter to Suicide Bomber after the fact - "Well, ummm, gee....Sorry 'bout that. I guess it was just a small misunderstanding. Forgive me please????"
what if, (drum roll please) ......SEX DOES NOT EXIST......in the after life?
ReplyDeleteThat would be justice for the jihadists, as far as I'm concerned. Hehehe.
Read this, I love the last part, but read it all.
ReplyDeleteThe Quran and the Seventy "Black Eye".
No wonder they are so eager to die.
Papa Ray
West Texas
USA
Are we allowed to draw virgins?
ReplyDeleteHere's the classic full list of 72 questions about 72 virgins including the inevitable one about having a bomb squad in paradise just in case one of the charges failed to detonate
ReplyDeletehttp://www.manilastandardonline.com/mnlastd/?page=jojoRobles_july17_2004
JMJ - great posting.
ReplyDeletePapa ray,
So heaven is hell for viagra vendors? Aren't there any blond blue eyed virgins in heaven? What we hear about blondes is true then?
I see the URL of my last post got scrambled due its length. But you can pick it up by googling for '72 questions 72 virgins'
ReplyDeleteBearing in mind Ali Sina's advice that the best weapon against the ROP is ridicule, these sorts of piss-takes ought to be circulated more widely and translated into all languages including that Kalahari one with the click sounds.
I loved Papa Ray's post, especially the bit about the bombers walking round paradise with permanent erections. Isn't this a medical condition known as Priapism?
Maybe there's a market up there for some sort of anti-Viagra just to soften things up a bit in awkward social situations and to be hygenic when the bomber's got to take a leak in a unisex toilet.
What happen if all the virgins left are all senior citizens, among whom he killed..
ReplyDelete