I was buying a magazine and a bottle of water in an airport book store last night, and there were three counter girls standing there discussing dieting. Here's the part of the conversation I tuned in to:
1st Girl: ... I've been eating a lot of Jello.
2nd Girl: You shouldn't eat jello. They put pig in that.
3rd Girl: Yeah.
1st Girl: I know, but I like jello.
2nd Girl: And, you shouldn't eat Jelly Beans either ...
And then, I turned and walked away.
No Americans!
ReplyDeleteA Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the
United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street
and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, and
giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care and free education!"
But the passerby says "You are mistaken, I am Mexican" The man goes on
and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful
country here in America!" The person says "I no American, I Vietnamese."
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops,
shakes his hand and says "Thank you for the wonderful America!" That
person puts up his hand and says "I am from Middle East, I am not an
American!" He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you an
American?" She says, "No, I am from Russia!" So he is puzzled, and asks
her, "Where are all the Americans?" The Russian lady looks at her watch,
shrugs, and says... "Probably at work...."
You RACIST!
ReplyDelete:)
Jello and Jelly Beans have Pig in them?
ReplyDeleteThey should be the official snack food of the Pig Races!
You know, Fu2rman, who would have known that Jello and Jelly Beans have pig in them? Who could have known.
ReplyDeleteMakes me think of the old saying,
He who smelt it, dealt it.
I don't get it, y'know? Like, why do you go all the way to the airrport to get, like, water and magazines? I go, y'know, to, like, the toilet for those things.
ReplyDeleteI think Piglet should be emblazoned on every form of currency, food product, transportation vehicle and sidewalk. Any Muslim who is sane enough to tell the difference between eating and seeing something can participate in society and the rest can just burst into flames with frustration.
ReplyDeleteDag,
ReplyDeleteThe world eludes you.
:)
It's because the gelatin in those things comes from animals which may include pigs and/or may not be slaughtered in the halal way.
ReplyDeleteQ: What's more fun than a barrel full of dead JihadoNazi terrorists?
ReplyDeleteA: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way to the top.
Female Jihadi: My husband is so fat.
ReplyDeleteMale Jihadis: How fat is he?
Female Jihadi: He's so fat it took two bomb belts to blow himself up.
Gee....you guys have bad taste...I'm so offended
ReplyDelete;)
Jello and jelly beans contain pig?
ReplyDeleteI'll be laying in a supply of both!
Hey what about gummy bears .... we can get 5 lb bags from Sam's
ReplyDeleteI have a bad habit of rolling my eyes in response to a certain kind of statement. Unless there was clothing choice to the contrary, the counter girls were vegetarians and neither Islam nor Judaism had anything to do with it. Though I have no logical basis for my vegetarianism--it's a lingering habit from my youth--I still avoid gelatin for the reasons the girls gave & I'm pretty sure I'm not a muslim.
ReplyDeleteI have been making efforts to overcome vegetarianism. Recently, I ate some venison that my first cousin shot. There is massive deer overpopulation in much of the country and want to do what I can to encourage people to kill deer. The plant diversity in the Pennsylvania woods has been simply destroyed by deer, yet the idiots who run environmental movements wish to ally PETA and not the NRA?
Demos, you should be careful about that venison. Mad cow disease has spread to wildlife and hunters have died from it. Would hate to lose you and have the average I.Q. of the country lowered as a result.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, Demosthenes, I think you have read me enough to know that I don't jump to conclusions about people. I have Muslim friends. I am interested in all cultures and religions. I have a degree in Philosophy and another in Literature. I also studied Religion quite extensively in school. I am also, as a writer, quite a student of the quirks of people's personalities.
ReplyDeleteI'm telling you, it is very likely that I am right in my assumption that these gals were Muslims.
mmMMMmm...pork flavored Jell-o....
ReplyDeleteIf they can put pork in jello, I say lets put it everything!
ReplyDeletePastorius, I would suspect that 90% of the population doesn't know where gelatin comes from. It is tricky to read fat, black vegetarians. All fat black muslim I've ever met dress funny--pretend African, except for one in a full mobile concentration camp. I'd bet on Jehovah's Witnesses.
ReplyDeleteDemo
Demo,
ReplyDeleteDo you know that Jehovah's Witnesses don't ear pork? Is that true?
Demo,
ReplyDeleteYou could have looked this up yourself instead of hassling my ass about it for two days:
http://www.beliefnet.com/story/127/story_12705_3.html
Jehovah's Witnesses do eat pork.
Now, maybe you ought to trust my instincts a bit more. How about it?
Do I really seem like a prejudiced motherfucker to you?
I just thought of one other thing. When I say, "trust my instincts," they were based upon sense impressions that I did not convey in detail.
ReplyDeleteNow, you know that Jews do not eat pork, right? When you bring up pork to a Jew, or if a Jew talks about the fact that he doesn't eat pork, the discussion goes along on a practical level, often with some humor attatched to it.
Right?
But, when you talk to a Muslim about pork, they get a look of disgust on their face.
When the one chick said, "They put pig in that," she had that look of disgust on her face.
See what I mean?
Sorry I didn't write a novel instead of a little humorous post.