Stolat! A Father's Toast

Posted at a friend's request.

I was asked to give a speech at my daughter's wedding yesterday.

This is what I came up with.

“But Ruth said Entreat me not to leave you,
Or to turn back from following after you;
For wherever you go, I will go;
And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
Your people shall be my people,
And your God, my God.
¹⁷ Where you die, I will die,
And there will I be buried.
The Lord do so to me, and more also,
If anything but death parts you and me.”

Ruth 1:16-17

Although this is not a verse about marriage, it is about commitment. The Story of Ruth and Naomi is about commitment to each other, through the better and worse. Naomi had an extraordinary run of bad luck, first widowed, then her sons died. She tells her daughters in law to leave her, go back to their families and their gods and find new husbands for she has nothing to offer them. But Ruth refuses, choosing  to stick it out, stay with Naomi. For better or worse. And in the end it pays off. For Ruth has a son Obed.  Obed Begat Jesse and Jesse begat David. And we all know the story from there.

Fathers with daughters worry. That should come as no surprise to anyone.

  We worry about their health, their grades, what kind of friends they have, are they keeping away from drugs etc. Can she pay her bills. Are those shorts too short or that skirt long enough. Is her coat warm enough. Where's the rest of that swimsuit. Who is this boy she wants to go to the movies with. How quickly can I get a background check done on him. Should I be cleaning the 30-30 or the .357 when I first meet him.

We fall asleep in our easy chairs watching old movies while waiting up for her to get home from a date with that boy. Even though she's 23 or 24 years old.

Have I taught her the world can be a rough place and can she handle herself in it.

But there are other worries fathers don't talk about. Not to friends or coworkers or wives or even their best drinking buddies. It's a special kind of purgatory for fathers with daughters. Especially fathers with all daughters.

Our greatest worry is will she be happy. Will she find someone who loves her the way we know she deserves to be loved. Someone who will put her on a pedestal. And whom she loves the same way. And would put on the same pedestal.

And we know deep down no one will ever be perfect enough for us

A number of years ago, though,  I realized I could finally put those worries aside about R----. In JW I have a terrific son in law who makes the grade as near as one can.

And today I can stop worrying about J---. In D--- I have a second son in law who also makes the grade as near as one can.

You'll be told many times you have to go through the worse to get to the better. But it seems to me that usually the two are actually hand in hand, side by side, better and worse together. Figuring out how to reconcile them is the trick.  That's living and that's life.

Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.
¹⁰ For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

You are lucky to have found each other and I have no doubt about your love commitment and devotion to each other. And that you'll be able to weather any hard times and truly savor the good times.

Together. Hand in hand, side by side.

And today I am a lucky man. I have a smokin' hot wife, three beautiful daughters,  two terrific energetic grandsons and a pair of sons in law that any man would be proud to have at his table.
  
A full house.

But more than that it is one of the happiest days of my life because, as I take stock of that full house and take a head count around that table, I can finally say to Miss D---, my wife of 29 years, my immortal beloved, that the guys finally outnumber the girls.

To J---- and D----.

Stolat!