Sunday, August 13, 2006

Oh Oh, IBA Is In Trouble Now

It seems the official Islamophobia Inspector for the European Union has been snooping around our blog and has decided that we need an evaluation. We are all being asked to take the following quiz to determine if we are racists, or not.

Please be thoughtful when you take the quiz, and do not give any off the cuff answers. We need to make sure that we are properly represented when we are taken to the Hague.

Here it is:


I am required to inform you that the 'Infidel Bloggers' Alliance' weblog and its contributors have been identified as potentially Islamophobic.

Under the aforementioned EU Directive DCLXVI it is compulsory for all bloggers and commentators to undergo the following Islamophobia test immediately:

YOU MAY BE AN ISLAMOPHOBE IF...

(1) You refer to the midwinter holiday as 'Christmas'.
(2) You save loose change in a p***y-bank.
(3) You allow your children to read unexpurgated versions of Winnie the Poo.
(4) You doubt whether it's politically correct to stone rape victims.
(5) You believe that the earth is round.
(6) You think there's something weird about a 50 year old man marrying a six year old girl.
(7) Your children have Barbie dolls or Teddy Bears
(8) You object to being a second class citizen in your own country.
(9) You fail to celebrate cultural diversity when your daughter is gang-raped for not wearing a headscarf.
(10) You think government policy should be determined by your elected representatives rather than a howling mob.
(11) You object to your taxes being used to support people who are plotting to kill you.
(12) You aren't convinced that 'Jihad' means 'Inner Spiritual Struggle'.
(13) You don't understand why the Jews must be exterminated.
(14) You allow your children to play with LEGO.
(15) You aren't married to at least one of your cousins.
(16) You sometimes have doubts about BBC reporting.
(17) You occasionally wonder what's inside those walking tents.
(18) You realise that taqiyya is not a Mexican beverage.
(19) You believe moderate Muslims ride unicorns.
(20) You don't appreciate the multicultural need for Methodist grandmothers to be body-cavity searched before boarding aircraft.
(21) You claim to understand the words "Slay the unbelievers wherever you find them", even though you don't speak Arabic.
(22) You object to taxpayers' money being spent for terrorists to hold a festival to commemorate the anniversary of their massacres.
(23) You have reservations about 'faith schools' where the kids will be taught that you and your family are najis (excrement), at public expense.
(24) You don't understand why flying your country's flag has become a hate-crime.
(25) You don't appreciate why it is so insensitive and offensive for the police to prevent oppressed minorities venting their frustration by mass murder.

EVALUATING YOUR SCORE
How many of the questions did you answer 'YES' ?On a scale of 0 to 25

0 you are a Dhimmi
1 to 5 you are a Najis Kaffir
6 to 10 you are an Islamophobe
11 to 15 you are a Thought Criminal
16 to 20 you are an Enemy of Allah
21 to 25 you are a Zionist Crusader offspring of pigs and monkeys.

Fatwas are automatically awarded for all scores above 5

Fatwas will been posted in plain brown paper envelopes in a choice of laminated or embossed styles, generously sprinkled with ricin, anthrax, sarin or cobalt-60.


I hate to say it but I scored a twenty-five. Jeez.

Well, the EU will be receiving my official reply on August 22nd.

Oh, what the heck, here it is right now. Click here, you cute little EU-pussois.

2 comments:

Pastorius said...

I think we are.

Maybe we can work out a ceasefire agreement with the UN. that way we can continue doing what we do legally while we smoke kif with UN reps in fields all over europe.

Jaime Raúl Molina said...

This was very good Pastorius. "Walking tents" was hilarious for me.