Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Reuters admits war is faked

Crusadernews-9 August Tehran-Reuters and other media giants announced today that the Israeli Lebanon war is a fabrication by several of its photographers and "a few unscrupulous journalists". Citing a broken picture viewer, a faulty fax machine and an office party that got out of hand, Reuters issued the following statement:

"Reuters has withdrawn from its database all photographs taken by the Beirut-based freelancer Adnan Hajj and all photographs taken by and of his mother, sister, great uncle and various friends, after establishing that they altered four hundred and eighty two images mistakenly thought to have been taken in Lebanon.

Further, Reuters has issued a kill order on three hundred and twenty six news items by various freelance reporters and Reuters staff alleging that a state of war exists between Lebanon and Israel; it seems such a state of war does not exist and this story is the result of broken office equipment and a little friendly rivalry between our Jerusalem and Beirut offices."


Photograph taken by Hajj's mother of Katusha rocket "bravely" aiming at Israeli soldiers on a northern Israeli battlefield. Charles of the blog "Little Green Footballs" discovered this fake when he noticed that there were no scorch marks behind the launcher (left).


Photograph allegedly taken by Hajj and reported by CNN as a "disproportionate" Israeli explosion on a Lebanese baby carriage. The blog "Drinking from Home" noticed that this photo bore an uncanny resemblance to the 1964 Soviet thermonuclear explosion which sank portions of the Kamchatka peninsula (right).


Reuters had previously established a tighter editing procedure for images of the Middle East conflict to ensure that no photographs from the region were transmitted to subscribers without review by the most senior editor on the Reuters Global Pictures Desk in Singapore, but no such precautions were put in place for storyline copy, which continued to report daily events in a war which was not actually taking place.

"I can't explain really explain it", said Reuter's Chairman Niall FitzGerald. "Our Singapore editor should have known the difference between a Katusha rocket launcher and a first century catapult and between an Israeli artillery explosion and a thermonuclear device in 1964, but oh well, mistakes happen sometimes, and in any event we are taking steps to ensure that editors work in the same hemisphere as reported events. We feel this will solve many of the problems identified here."

Photograph submitted by freelance photographer bin Madmullah purporting to show an Israeli massacre of an Hizbollah daycare. Charles at the blog "Little Green Footballs" discovered that the date stamp on the submitted picture was Aug 2, 2006, even though the representation had previously been date stamped August 16, 1191 and apparently depicted Richard I's massacre of the citizens of Acre left). Bin Madmullah claimed the mistake occurred when he attempted to remove a dust mote in bad light.

Alleged Israeli soldier (right) submitted by al Kikekiller, a freelance photographer working for Reuter's Lebanon office. The blog "Drinking from Home" claimed that the photo on the left is of the same person as the submitted photo on the right, who was originally depicted in the Gutenberg Bible in 1455.

CNN, ABC, CBS, CBC, BBC, and ZXY all issued disclaimers apologizing for characterizing Israel as a "land inhabited by monkeys and pigs and fed with Christian babies", and blamed the mischaracterization on an empty ink cartridge in a fax machine. Al Jazeera claimed its reporting was "fake but accurate", and blamed Mossad agents for scrambling its transmissions. Nonetheless, the head offices of all the major media issued a joint communique explaining their respective positions:

"There is no graver breach of media standards for our photographers and reporters than the deliberate fabrication of a major war". "Our organizations have zero tolerance for any doctoring of pictures or text and constantly reminds its photographers and reporters, both staff and freelance, of this strict and unalterable policy. We have launched an immediate investigation into our standards, but we wish to assure our viwers that this is the ONLY war entirely fabricated by the media."

CBS hastened to add that it has already concluded an investigation to ensure that World War II did in fact take place, although it admitted that no one by the name of Edward Murrow had actually been on its payroll at the time, and unfortunately all voice recordings of the alleged blitz reporter had been "inadvertently shredded" last week.

Crusader

1 comment:

Pastorius said...

This is all very understandable. The pressures of deadlines can be immense. It is not at all surprising that some false stories can "slip through the cracks" from time to time.

And, really, who can tell the difference between a Hellfire missile and a thermonuclear explosion when the photograph is taken at night. As they say, they all look the same in the dark, you know.