Monday, January 22, 2007

An Open Letter to Islamic Freedom Fighters Around the World

Heh, I like this guy's style. I hope he doesn't mind, but I'm lifting his entire post, and recommending you go check out the rest of his blog:

Greetings to Al Qaeda, Hamas, Lashkar-e-Toiba, Hezbollah, Islamic Jihad, Jamaat Islamiya, and CAIR.My name is Dennis Reilly, and I am writing to you as a representative of the entire non-Islamic world--I speak for the United States, Britain, Australia, Spain, France, Denmark, Thailand, Japan, Brazil, Peru, Mexico, Canada…you get the picture.

First of all, I would like to thank you for your persistence in getting out the message about Allah and Mohammed. Here’s what I think we’ve all come to understand about Islam. (Please email me at in case I’ve gotten any of this wrong. I’d love to hear from you.)

1. Islam is the one true religion. All other religions are wrong and perverse.
2. Allah is the one true God. There are no other gods besides him.
3. Mohammed is his Prophet, and we aren’t to draw pictures of him. Also, we should say “peace be upon him” after we say his name.
4. Jesus and Moses and some other people were prophets, too.
5. Muslims are supposed to spread the word about Islam.
6. Muslims are supposed to kill the enemies of Islam.
7. Muslims can marry more than one woman, and Muslim women have to obey men and wear lots of clothes.
8. The law of Islam is the perfect law, and all Muslim lands should be governed by this divine law, and not by man’s laws.
9. Eventually, all the world will be under the banner of Islam.
10. You will not stop fighting until the entire world is under the banner of Islam.

I hope I got all that right.

Having said all that, I would like to announce, on behalf of all the non-Muslim people in the world, that we are all now Muslim. We had a meeting, and we’ve all agreed. We’ve converted to Islam. All of us.

So, there you go. How easy was that? We finally just decided that was the easiest way to end this conflict.

Okay, then. You win. And I really feel better. I’m glad to know I’m going to heaven now. Thank you for all you’ve done to help me realize the folly of my ways.

Well, okay. I guess you can have your men put away their guns and bombs. The peace of Islam can now rule the world.

Thank you for your time,
Dennis Reilly

P.S.I almost forgot--Jews are pigs.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sheesh, Dennis needs to be hanged, that traitor! What a Benedict Arnold of today!