Goo-goo, ga-ga, mama, dada, allah . . .

“What was that you said?”

“Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-gaah.”

“No, that was not what you said. You said ‘Islam is the light.’ ”

“Na-na-ga-ga-ga-gaah, giggle, coo, coo, mama, dada, allah.”

“Right! That’s it! I’m going to complain about you, you little plastic, shiny-faced, religion-befuddled imbecile. Here, put this on.”

“Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-gaah, giggle! Uh?”

“It’s a burqa. What do you think it is? If you’re going to spout that stuff, you can jolly well look like one.”

“Ga-ga-ga-ga . . . burp!”

Well, that’s one of many possible scenarios that could have played out around the United Kingdom as parents have complained that the new Fisher-Price Little Mommy Cuddle ’n’ Coo doll is saying, “Islam is the light.”

No, say Fisher-Price. She’s got something wrong with her tubes. It just sounds like that. The only word programmed into her is “mama”. Everything else is just noises.

Some shops in the States have removed the doll from the shelves. Now it’s available in the UK – it’ll knock you back twenty quid, or, as they prefer to call it, £19.99.

A Fisher-Price spokesman is quoted in a (UK) Daily Telegraph story today as saying, “The Little Mommy Cuddle ’n’ Coo dolls feature realistic baby sounds including cooing, giggling, and baby babble with no real sentence structure.” (Reminds me of George W Bush.)

It also burps, farts, shits – no, I made that last bit up.

But think of the possibilities. You could buy dolls that say “Vote Labour!” or “Vote Tory!” or (to be balanced here) “Vote Liberal Democrat!” Or "Vote Obama!" or "Vote McCain!" On second thoughts, scrub the last one. Palin comes as part of the deal!

Talking of which, we've got a pretty good satire publication online here in the UK called the Daily Mash, which carries a great Obama/Palin story, which one of my colleagues blogged about on Pink Triangle earlier.