Sheriff Joe Arpaio: Close Gitmo, "I'll Take 'Em"
Joseph M. Arpaio (born June 14, 1932 in Springfield, Massachusetts, United States) is a law enforcement officer, and the sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona. Arpaio, who promotes himself as "America's Toughest Sheriff," is controversial for his approach to operating the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office. He has a large number of vocal supporters as well as detractors. His practices have been criticized by organizations such as Amnesty International, the American Civil Liberties Union, the Arizona Ecumenical Council, the American Jewish Committee, and the Arizona chapter of the Anti-Defamation League.
Changes to jail operations
Arpaio banned inmates from possessing "sexually explicit material" including Playboy magazine after female officers complained that inmates openly masturbated while viewing them, or harassed the officers by comparing their anatomy to the nude photos in the publications. The ban was challenged on First Amendment grounds but upheld by the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit.
In February 2007, Arpaio instituted an in-house radio station he calls KJOE. Arpaio's radio station broadcasts classical music, opera, Frank Sinatra hits, patriotic music and educational programming. It operates from the basement of the county jail for five days a week, four hours each day.
Arpaio set up a "Tent City" as an extension of the Maricopa County Jail ( ). Many prisons and jails throughout the United States have used, and continue to use, tents to house inmates. Tent City is located in a yard next to a more permanent structure containing toilets, showers, an area for meals, and a day room. It has become notable particularly because of Phoenix's extreme temperatures. Daytime temperatures inside the tents have been reported as high as 150 degrees in the top bunks. During the summer, fans and water are supplied in the tents.
According to former Sheriff's Office employees, Arpaio emptied an entire floor of one jail to help fill the tent city when it was opened. 
During the summer of 2003, when outside temperatures exceeded 110 °F (43 °C), which is higher than average, Arpaio said to complaining inmates, "It's 120 degrees in Iraq and the soldiers are living in tents and they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your mouths." Inmates were given permission to wear only their pink underwear.
Tent City has been criticized by groups contending these are violations of human and constitutional rights, as well as by Erwin James, a journalist for The Guardian currently on parole from a life sentence in Britain..
One of Arpaio's most visible public relations successes was the introduction of pink underwear, which the Maricopa County Sheriff's website cites as being "world famous."
Arpaio subsequently started to sell customized pink boxers (with the Maricopa County Sheriff's logo and "Go Joe") as a fund-raiser for Sheriff's Posse Association. Despite allegations of misuse of funds received from these sales, Arpaio declined to provide an accounting for the money .
Arpaio's success in gaining press coverage with the pink underwear resulted in him extending the use of the color. He introduced pink handcuffs, using the event to promote his book,Sheriff Joe Arpaio, America's Toughest Sheriff. .
In 2005, nearly 700 maximum-security prisoners were marched the four blocks from Towers Jail to the newly opened Lower Buckeye Jail, wearing only their underwear and flip-flops to prevent the concealment of weapons. Prisoners were strip-searched when they left Towers Jail and again when they reached their destination.
THIS JUST IN: In a surprise move today, the outspoken and controversial Sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona, stated that he’d be happy to take the inmates of Gitmo and provide for them “appropriate and hospitable accommodations.” When questioned in a press conference what those ‘appropriate’ accommodations would entail, the spirited Sheriff was quoted as saying, “Oh, you’ll find out. Our recidivism rate here is nearly zero. For some reason inmates, when released, are not too keen on coming back.”
Asked if the detainees would receive just and humane treatment, the Sheriff smiled and said, “Certainly. They are ‘humans’ and will be treated as such…and that’s ‘just’ the way it is.”
In Baghdad today, the arrested Al Qaeda leader, Khaled Abdul-Fattah Dawoud Mahmoud al-Mashhadani, was heard screaming from his cell when he heard the news that the Gitmo detainees in Arizona would all be required to wear pink. Al-Mashhadani’s legal representative, ACLU attorney Harold B. Dikwahd, stated that dressing the detainees in pink would violate the Geneva Convention. “Pink is the color of pigs, and pork is an insult to Muslims,” stated the snarky lawyer. Sheriff Arpaio responded, “Well, we don’t want to insult them, just lock them away. Like all our inmates here, they look pretty in pink.”
The ACLU was further infuriated that no copies of the Koran would be provided to the detainees, but rather replaced by copies of The Audacity of Hope, by Barack Obama. In addition, prayer rugs would be replaced by yoga mats and the five prayer breaks each day would be allowed, but required to include a 20-minute Namaste Yoga routine. MacDonald’s happy meals would be served seven times a day until the prisoners made a video declaration that they would cease the jihad and start treating people of all faiths in a decent and ‘pleasant’ manner. When asked what he meant by ‘pleasant,’ the feisty Sheriff replied, “Well, not cutting people’s heads off and blowing themselves up on crowded buses would be damn fine start.”
Immediately following the press conference a new fatwa was issued by Osama Bin Laden from an undisclosed cave location, that “…a new jihad is hereby announced, on top of all the other old jihads, that all faithful followers are now to blow up the entire state of Arizona. But not til after the Super Bowl. Go Cards.”
We are still trying to decipher the cryptic meaning of the last part of the fatwa.