Jakey and Jenny

(hang in there, talking in my Dutch accent is easier than typing in it)
(Jewel, don't you dare give this punchline away :)

Jakey and Jenny Yoder were a young newly married Amish couple.

Like most young married couples, they spent a lot of time hein' & shein'.

When they weren't hein ' shein' Jenny was at home cookin ' cleanin' and trying to keep a proper Amish home.

Jakey worked down at Stoltzfus' Deli slicin' Lebanon Bologna.

Every morning he'd go to work at the deli, slice Lebanon bologna all day long, then go happily home to Jenny where they'd get about to hein' & shein'.

Then one day Amos Stoltzfus called Jakey into the office.

"Chakey," said Amos "Ah'fe been hearin' some bad stories 'bout you."

"Oh, noah, " replied Jakey "Vat could you be hearin'?"

"Chakey, Ah been hearin' that you been stickin' your pecker in the pickle slicer."

"Oh, Amos, vell, nah, that's true nah onct."

"Chakey, ve can't haf that 'round here. You haf to stop that nah onct."

"Okay, Amos, Ah'll stop."

And that was that. Jakey went home to Jenny that night, said nothing about it and they went about hein' and shein'.

Several days later Amos called Jakey into the office again.

"Chakey, Ah heared you'f been stickin' your pecker in the pickle slicer again."

"Yes, Amos. Ah haf. Ah just couldn't help myself."

"Look, Chakey. This is your last varning. You haft to stop stickin' your pecker in the pickle slicer. Ve haf to vorry 'bout health laws and all, Chakey. Ve chust can't haf that 'round here."

"Okay, Amos, Ah unnerstand."

And that was that. Jakey went home to Jenny without a word about the incident and they went about hein' and shein.'

Several days later Amos again called Jakey into the office.

"Chakey, Ah'm sorry, boy, but ve haf to let you go."

"Oh noah, Amos, vy?"

"Chakey, Ah told you tvicet you had to stop stickin your pecker in the pickle slicer and Ah chust found out you're still doin' it. Ah'm sorry, Chakey, but I haf no choice."

"Okay, Amos, I unnerstand."

So Jakey went home to Jenny. She was very surprised to see him home in the middle of the day.

"Chakey, vat are you doin' home so early for onct?"

"Vell, Chenny, Amos had to let me go today."

"Oh, Chakey, vy?"

"Vell, Amos told me tvict not to stick my pecker in the pickle slicer anymore. But AH couldn't help myself and Ah chust had to stick my pecker in the pickle slicer vun more time. So Amos said he had to fire me."

"But, Chakey, vat about the pickle slicer? Vat did Amos do about the pickle slicer?"

"Vell, he had to fire her, too."

(yeah, I know. I'm going to Hell. S'okay. I tell bad Polish jokes, too.)