Islam: The Religion of Cunninlingus and Vagina Worship, or Muff-Diving the Meteorite

Islam: The Religion of Cunninlingus and Vagina Worship, or Muff-Diving the Meteorite

The Little Man In The Boat

Ever wondered why Muslims bow to Mecca? If they were bowing to God then they wouldn't have to face in exactly one direction, because God is everywhere.

So what are they bowing to - the city itself? But Catholics don't bow to Rome, and Anglicans don't bow to Canterbury, and Mormons don't bow to Salt Lake City.

So what's so special about Mecca? What part of the city are they actually worshiping? Surely they aren't worshipping the entire city, including hotels, car parks, shops, electricity substations, public toilets and all the rest of the urban infrastructure?

No, in fact they're worshiping one specific object in the city - Allah's sacred meteorite.

If you ever see pictures of them milling around in Mecca they are all circling a cubic building called the Kaaba. And set into the wall of that building is a meteorite enclosed by a vessel shaped like a woman's quim that they all try to kiss. Sometimes they get so sexually excited at the thought of the pious pussy that they stampede and kill one another in their efforts to muff-dive the meteorite.

The mingy meteorite was an object of worship long before Islam reared its ugly head, so what it's got to do with Allah is a bit of a mystery. Maybe it represents one of Allahs daughters, but as a Muslim father, wouldn't that get him murderously mad at all the wanabe quim-lickers sniffing around his girls' sacred snatch? Perhaps that's why he sets them stampeding.

Or maybe it means that Islam is some sort of tribal fertility cult that Mohammed duped people into believing was a proper religion.

But one thing is for certain. When Muslims accuse other religions of idolatry, they are the biggest hypocrites on earth. What could be more idolatrous than worshipping a hunk of space junk tarted up to look like a twat?

One more thought. The Jews treated the Temple with such reverence that no man was allowed a glimpse of the whole thing. Hebrews 9:1-9 tells us that in the temple a veil separated the Holy of Holies—the earthly dwelling place of God’s presence—from the rest of the temple where men dwelt.

Likewise, we find that Muslims separate themselves from the vagina they worship, by enshrouding their women in the Burqa. This is more evidence that, in Islam, it is the Vagina that is being worshiped, not Allah.

Or, perhaps, Allah, himself, is the earthly presence of the great mystical Vagina of Gaia.

One thing is for certain, Islam needs a good douching, and soon.