You Didn't See This in Television!
MetroXpress - Copenhagen - Tuesday 4. April 2006 - #67 - volume 6
You didn't see this in television
(lately Farshad Kholghi has been in a bigger Danish singing contest television show where people are singing some well-known songs)
"Two minutes to your song, Farshad. Good luck." the producer said and did a hard knock at my back. There was two minutes till I was going to entertain Denmark on live television.
The nervousness erased my memory. I couldn't remember the melody nor the lyric. I tried for the last time to practice the song; but the only thing that came out of my terror-stricken mouth was a medley over a Richard Ragnvalds (old Danish musician) greatest hits. The situation of my stomach was worse than the Paris riots, and the sweat squirted from my forehead as lies out of the mouth of a mullah.
I love to sing and I do it constantly at home. This has caused the person living in the flat below to hate me whole-hearted and got him into both Johnny Hansens (leader of the Danish nazi party/club) little naziclub and Hizb-ut-Tahrirs big naziclub.
Now I waited in the lonely wings. Suddenly I heard an annoying falsetto saying: "You can't do it". I looked down at the floor and saw a creature being the size of a rotten banana jumping around my left foot with a little camel doll in the hand. He crawled up on my shoe with difficulties and looked up at me. "My name is Balls-In-Curry. If you are singing good, don't you think that someone will come and blow you up?" he said and came to look like a goat. (The danish word for Balls-In-Curry is Boller-i-Karry [last part pronounced something like karri] sound suspiciously like some Islamic Danish cleric, and the figures are pretty obvious too)
"Do you threaten me?" I yelled and went on to stage to entertain the nation.
It was a great show with dancers and fireworks. I was so on, that I accidently vomit fire. After the number I was happy. I ran to the judges - but got the shock of my life. In the panel of judges there was Marianne Jelved ((R), opposition, is middle-left), Anders Fogh ((V), PM of Denmark), and Helle Thorning-Schmidt ((S), opposition, middle, second largest Danish party).
Anders Fogh sent me a thumbs-up. "Now we can separate the sheep from the goats" he said (he has said this in the mohammed intifada) - but was interrupted by Marianne Jelved. "No, how can you say that? As a judge you shouldn't judge anyone. You shall go into dialog." (the danish sentence here was like "You shall build bridge over" but not sure is there is any english proverb like this)
Helle Thorning-Schmidt was politely holding back. While Marianne Jelved was telling Anders Fogh off and lecture whole Denmark about moral, the little Balls-In-Curry came and fall on me and began to beat me with his camel doll. "I said that you shouldn't do it good!" the little man said.
Desperately I looked at the self-righteous Jelved and asked for help. Balls-In-Curry was obviously out of control. Marrianne Jelved looked first at the attacker, and then she looked at Anders Fogh. "This is a very dangerous man. We must stop this madness," (she actually has stated this directly) Marianne Jelved said and pointed at Anders Fogh. Immediately she slammed her handbag into the head of him. (Jelved is very famous for always walking around with a handbag) It was chaos. I kept yelling for help. Jelved still hit Fogh with the handbag, and Helle Thorning-Schmidt still was quite. "Can't you see he's hitting me? Help me," I yelled. Balls-In-Curry instantly stated that he dissociate himself from his ongoing actions and his own tongue. Just to keep on hitting and threatening me.
The judges accepted his statements and kept on with their mutual fighting.
Finally Helle Thorning-Schmidt got into action. Everything was in slow motion. I was waiting the speech of the century. "No, really, Marianne. You are filling way too much. I also want to be into this. It's totally unfair. Because it's me who are going to be supreme judge someday. No, really, please ... May I borrow your handbag?" she said and stamped in the floor. (Helle Thorning-Schmidt has stated she is going to beat Anders Fogh and be the next PM, but she has acted really girly lately and fail in controlling her own party so that probably not going to happen, ever)
All this you couldn't watch in the television. But it happened. For real. The only thing I was happy about, was the three minutes I got to entertain Denmark with "Let me entertain you".
Now this was hilarious to me, and all this has happened and still happens for real. But guess how many Danish islamofascists/fanatic moslems/Imams that ever will be able to understand a part of what the column told? My guess is ZERO. Sadly most other people in Denmark probably don't understand it either.
Farshad Kholghi is a great and very intelligent man.