Stupid Muslim Jokes

We had this post up before, but we have some stuff to add to it today, so here goes. Many of you will not have seen it anyway.


Q: What do you ask a man who's just converted to Islam?
A: Have you started beating your wife?

Q How many Muslims does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they prefer to sit in the dark and blame it on the Jews.

Q: How do you get a Muslim woman pregnant?
A: Dress her up as a goat.

Q: Did you hear the one about the Muslim who won a Nobel Prize in Mathematics?
A:Neither did I.

Q How can you recognise a well-balanced Muslim?
A He's got chips on both shoulders.

Q: What's the difference between Dar al-Islam and a pot of bio-yogurt?
A: The yogurt has a living culture.

Guy goes into sex shop and asks for an inflatable doll. Assistant asks him whether he wants a Christian one or a Muslim one. Customer asks what's the difference. Assistant explains that you need a pump for the Christian doll, but the Muslim one blows itself up.

Pastorius says: That's good stuff.

Here, I'll try my hand at a stupid Muslim joke.

Q: What do you call a Muslim with no arms and no legs on his first night at the bath house?
A: Hakinan Yer Jizya.

Dilshod Infidel-Apostate adds:

I am an ex-muslim myself and fanatically practiced Islam for 18 years. Its full of absurd laws and stories. Only a person with intellectual bankruptcy would ever accept this religion.

Wake up people, its 21st century, get out of your comfort zone. I've got better things to do than to follow the teachings of a pedophilic-suicidical-chauvinist-narcissistic-racist lunatic.

Now if you excuse me, I need to go back to playing with my new dog Muhammed.

Oh yeah, I forgot to add a joke of my own.
Here it is:

Jesus and God are sitting in a room discussing an important issue. Somebody knocks on the door. Jesus opens and see's Allah. Jesus turns to God and asks "Father, did you order a shawarma? "


Here's another one:

Two moslem sisters, Meenah and Neenah, have just arrived in the USA. On arrival they spot a hot dog vendor. Meenah says to Neenah, “Look, people in this country eat dogs.”

“Odd!” says Neenah, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.”

Nodding, they walk towards the hot dog vendor.

“Two dogs, please,” says Neenah.

The vendor wraps two hot dogs and hands them over the counter. Excited, the sisters hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their ‘dogs’. Meenah is the first to open hers. She stares at it for a moment and begins to blush with joy. Then she leans over to Neenah and whispers cautiously, “What part did you get?”

That last one actually qualifies as a CUTE MUSLIM JOKE.

UPDATED: