The Guardian Newspaper Tells Readers They Can “Survive The Climate Change Apocalypse” By Eating Their Families, Skinning Rabbits

The Hippies Are Restless

From The Guardian:

We are getting close to what might be called The Noah Scenario. Last month was the wettest January in Britain since records began in 1767. So far this month has been no different, and the Met Office expects the wind and rain to continue until March. Climate change may be a gradual process, but people who live on the Somerset Levels or the banks of the Thames are getting a very sudden education in the value of arks.

It’s unlikely that these floods will be the last such catastrophe, or the worst. Climate scientists expect bigger and more frequent extreme weather events throughout the coming century – not just wind and rain, but droughts as well. Nor is weather the only danger: pandemic flu, nuclear weapons, antibiotic resistance, environmental catastrophe and chronic food shortages could also offer dire threats to civilisation as we know it. You might not want to panic just yet, but you might decide that it is time to join the “preppers” – people who are secretly preparing to abandon modern life when the apocalypse, in whatever form, does arrive.

When do I abandon my home?

When you have no choice. When soldiers are on your street, your neighbours have begun to steal from you and plague-sufferers are camped in your drive – or perhaps slightly before all that. Preppers have a catch-all term for this moment: the SHTF scenario, in reference to the day when the Shit finally does Hit The Fan.

“It would be the last resort for me,” says Steve, a 57-year-old prepper from Essex, who runs ukpreppersguide.co.uk. “Some people seem to think it’s the first thing to do. The moment something happens, they grab their rucksack and off they go and live in the wild – but if you’ve ever tried that, it really isn’t easy. Where I am at the moment, I probably have enough provisions to survive for about nine months. That doesn’t include going out and getting your own food.”

When the moment comes, however, you may not have much warning, so it is important to keep what preppers call a “bug-out bag” ready at all times. Ideally, you’d leave at night, when you won’t be followed. “The idea behind leaving your home is to get away from danger,” Steve explains, “which means getting away from everybody and going under the radar, off-grid, so you can’t be found – then just survive for however long is needed before you can come back to civilisation.” [...]

Could I disembowel a rabbit?

Getting the equipment and supplies is one thing, but being ready to use them is another. Steve regularly visits his planned bugging-out locations without any food or water, and practises living off the land for several days. “It really is surprising what a culture shock it is to go away for a week with nothing,” he says. “It’s not a jolly. A lot of people are armchair preppers. They’ll get the equipment and they’ll read the book, but they won’t go out and practise. But that really is the key to being prepared – making sure you can do what you think you can do.”

Can you, for instance, shoot a rabbit, skin it, field-dress (ie disembowel) it, and cook it, perhaps in the rain, with just a pocket knife? Can you set traps for fish? Do you even know what wildlife is in your chosen area, which offers the most meat, and which is easiest to catch? Do you know how to tell whether or not water is safe to drink? If you make yourself ill by doing any of these things wrongly, are you medically skilled enough to treat yourself? Can you mend your clothes, or your radio, or your tent? Most of these skills are not difficult to master, they just need “practice, practice, practice”, according to Steve. [...]

Should I take my family (and could I eat them)?

This is tricky, because even starting the conversation is a point of no return. “One of the key elements is not telling anyone that you’re a prepper,” Steve says, which is why he won’t share his surname. “If every man and his dog knew, and then if there was a disaster, they’d all just say: ‘Don’t worry. We’ll go round there. Steve’s got it all.’”

On the other hand, survival is much easier in a group. You can carry more, and do more. What’s important, however, is that everybody shares your vision and is equally dedicated, so the team does not disintegrate. “You don’t want any hangers-on,” says Steve. “Someone who is skilled medically is a big plus. Someone who’s mechanically minded, someone who can cook and hunt and fish – several people with different skills is ideal.”