Joyful Infidel Wedding

Hat tip to Social Sense:

Time Flies When Your Fighting Jihad

About 7 years ago a friend sent me the following email. Some of the names have changed but the lineup remains about the same.

> ARABIC TV GUIDE
>
> SUNDAY:
> 8:00 - My 33 Sons
> 8:30 - Osama Knows Best
> 9:00 - I Dream of Mohammed
> 9:30 - Let's Mecca Deal
> 10:00 - The Kabul Hillbillies
> MONDAY:
> 8:00 - Husseinfeld
> 9:00 - Mad About Everything
> 9:30 - Monday Night Stoning
> 10:00 - Win Bin Laden's Money
> 10:30 - Allah McBeal
> TUESDAY:
> 8:00 - Wheel of Terror
> 8:30 - The Price is Right if Osama Says it's Right
> 9:00 - Children are Forbidden from Saying the Darndest Things
> 9:30 - Taliban's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers
> 10:00 - Buffy the Yankee Slayer
> WEDNESDAY:
> 8:00 - Beat the Press
> 8:30 - When Kurds Attack
> 9:00 - Two Guys, a Girl, and Pita Bread
> 9:30 - Just Shoot Everyone
> 10:00 - Veilwatch
> THURSDAY:
> 8:00 - Fatima Loves Chachi
> 8:30 - M*U*S*T*A*S*H
> 9:00 - Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils
> 9:30 - Married with 139 Children
> 10:00 - Eye for an Eye Witness News
> FRIDAY:
> 8:00 - Judge Saddam
> 8:30 - Suddenly Sanctions
> 9:00 - Who Wants to Marry a Terrorist Millionaire?
> 9:30 - Cave and Garden Television
> 10:00 - No-Witness News
> SATURDAY:
> 8:00 - Sponge Bob Square Turban
> 8:30 - Who's Koran Is It Anyway?
> 9:00 - Teletalibans
> 9:30 - Camel 54, Where Are You?

The Tale of Four Aged Muslimahs

Grozny, Chechnya.

There were four older ladies who lived in Grozny....They always sat outside and chatted about when they were younger....One day they pooled their money together and bought a laptop computer...

They always wanted to see what Florida was about and they just happened to click on St.Augustine, FL. and they read about the "Fountain of Youth" that was there...

They saved up all they could and sent for four bottles of the magic water....

As soon as it arrived, they drank as much as they could....The rest of this story will make you a believer because here they are today....

Islamobotomy

TRUE OR FALSE

Mohammed, the prophet of the muslims had sex with his camel

The answer can be found in the comments

Take Your Pick, Babe Of The Week

A 50-year-old Saudi woman asked for divorce after her husband lifted her face veil while she was sleeping, local press reported.

For 30 years, the wife said she never showed her face to her husband in conformity with the tradition of her native village near the south western Saudi city of Khamis Mushayt.

"After all these years, he tries to commit such a big mistake," the wife told Saudi newspaper Al-Riyadh, after she left the house in total disbelief.

She said the husband apologized and promised never to do it again.

This is not the first case of husbands who have not seen their wives' faces in decades.

In the past Al Arabiya has reported the case of Ali al-Qahtani, whose wife had been wearing the face veil for the entire ten years of their marrage. When he tried to take it off, she threatened to leave and only decided to stay after he swore never to try again.

Hassan Al-Atibi threatened to marry another woman if his wife didn't show him her face. The woman nominated one of her friends who doesn't observe this tradition as a possible new wife for him, saying this would be better than her showing her face.

And neither the husband or children of Om Rabea al-Gahdaray, 70, have ever seen her face. Al-Gahdaray says it is a family tradition, also followed by mother and sisters, which her husband accepted and never tried to change.

When asked how she could have kids without her husband ever seeing her face, she replied: "Marriage is about love, not faces."

TRICK

OR TREAT

I Have To Laugh

The chances are this will be banned today

What makes a Gentleman?

For those of you who enjoyed my entry about Michelle Obama's outfits and the ensueing discussion with Pastorius in the comment section, The Evil Style Queen's above question may be an interesting read, although she has got no nostrum as a reply:

To summarize, a "good" family" and education helps, as does dress-sense, a tall and slim physique and - even more - a clean-cut face and apparent intelligence. There are, however, clowns from old and "good" families, intelligent, good-looking men who do not, or not quite, make it, as there are well-dressed yobs. At the end of the day, I don't have an answer to my own question.

Here.

A Rare Diamond

FOSSIL OF FIRST MOONBAT FOUND

AN INSPIRING STORY OF MARTYRDOM

A Muslim shaheed or ‘martyr’ (one who dies while killing infidels), may intercede with Allah to take 70 of his relatives to paradise with him, no matter what their sins.

This thought kept going through Papa's mind as he was considering a career for Sharif, the youngest and most useless of his eleven sons and umpteen daughters. Sharif wasn't much good for anything in this world, he couldn't even remember more than five aliases when filling in his welfare claims.

So a family council was called, and targets discussed. Aircraft, schools and trains had their pros and cons. But then Sharif's sister Parveen had a brain-wave. "Killing Christians is indeed pleasing to Allah, but you get treble points for killing Jews - let's send him to Israel"

Everybody was in agreement apart from Momma, who wondered how Sharif was going to feed himself in paradise since this was the first time he'd been away from home and he couldn't even open a can.

"No problem" Papa explained "Out of 72 virgins some of them are going to be able to cook." Momma was not convinced they’d be able to cook as well as her.

Meanwhile Sharif went to the local Mosque’s laboratory to mix the relevant ingredients in the correct proportions.

The great day came, and Sharif rushed into an Israeli seaside bar shouting "I love Pepsi Cola more than you love death! Akkah Albar!" - He never could get anything right.

He pressed the detonator and there was a fizzle, and then a flame from his bomb belt - but no bang. Sharif was no great genius at chemistry, he'd made an incendiary mixture instead of explosives.

In an effort to extinguish the flames, Sharif ran out and jumped into the sea. It worked, but then he remembered he’d never learned to swim.

The body was washed up in due course, leaving and Papa and Momma very uncertain. Could Sharif be a Shaheed by just killing himself without slaughtering any infidels? Eventually they decided to visit a medium to make contact and find out what he was doing in the afterlife.

“Tell me what it’s like where you are” said Papa.
Sharif’s voice came through the medium sounding squeaky and distorted. “Well, I get up in the morning and have sex. Then I have a lettuce. I have sex again. Then I have a cucumber. Then more sex and celery and so on for the rest of the day.”

“Sex, sex and more sex!” Papa said “Truly my son you are indeed a Shaheed!”

But Momma was still a little anxious “You’ll need more than salad to keep your strength up with all that exercise. Aren’t they feeding you properly in paradise?”

“Who said anything about paradise?” Sharif’s voice replied. “I’ve been reincarnated as a rabbit in Salinas valley.”

No Rest For The Wicked

Following is a clip from a movie called "Der untergang" or "Downfall". For those who have not seen the film allow me to explain. In the original, the clip shows Hitler with his generals in the bunker, and he finally realizes that the Russians are in Berlin, and he informs his generals what to do with his body after he kills himself.

Enjoy