Bill Maher doesn't need to convert, because he has basically already given his confession of faith, and it fits in very nicely with what the Islamofascists want from us.
Here's the transcript for those who can't view the video.
New rule: If converting to Islam is all it takes to get the terrorists off our backs, then all I have to say is, “Lalalalalalala!” Now this week when two Fox News journalists were released by their kidnappers, I was shocked. Fox News has journalists? No, the shocking part of it was that all these Westerners had to do get the blade literally off their neck was say they were Muslims. Just recite a two line pledge. Just say the words, “There’s no god but Allah, Mohammed is his messenger, and,” oh, whoops. There, I did it. I’m now Bill al-Sheik Yerbouti. Welcome to Saudi America.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Bill, if we convert to Islam, doesn’t that mean the terrorists have won?” Well, sort of, but it’s a win-win, because they get to declare victory, and we get to take hair gel on the plane. Plus, we’re not really converting to Islam. We’re just telling our enemies what they want to hear, and trying to convince them we’re something we’re really not. Or, as Hillary Clinton calls it, campaigning. (groans from crowd). Oh, you just can’t take it the other way you little…
And, it’s so simple to convert this way. You know, if you want to convert to Judaism, it’s a huge hassle. You’ve got to find a Rabbi, study the Torah, get circumcised, go to dental school. But, Mohammed made joining his team easy: two line pledge, and you’re in. Which would you go for? The two line pledge, or lopping off the business end of your meat thermometer? And the best part is that nothing that really matters to you will be different. It’s not like we’re asking you to change your e-mail address. We’d be Muslims in name only, instead of what Americans are now – Christians in name only.
I mean, look around, we don’t care for the poor, or differ to the meek, or avoid judging people. It’s not like we’re that committed to Christianity. In fact, the other day I heard a nun say, “Sure, I love Jesus, but I’m not married to him.” Now, I know my plan will meet some resistance, but it shouldn’t come from the right, because converting to Islam will just give conservative Christians everything they love: “Pray five times a day? Where do I sign up? You mean we can stone homosexuals instead of just bitching about them on talk-radio? Thank you Jesus…I mean, Allah.”
We’re a nation enthralled to religious fanatics anyway. Does it really matter which fanatics we’re enthralled to? They’re both filled with moral pieties and codes of conduct nobody follows anyway. So, let’s pick the one that let’s us take hair gel on the plane. Because, no matter what happens, we’ll always be Americans. Nothing can ever change that. Because even if women here had to start wearing burkas, believe me, they would find a way to write the word “Juicy” on their ass!
It seems to me that, by taking the opposite viewpoint of mine, and expressing it all the way through to its logical conclusion, Bill Maher has proven my point.
3 comments:
Big problem is that after converting to Islam we will become apostates in the time it takes to twist the top off a stubbie. Does anyone know what Mo said to do to apostates?
We can all just stnad in a circle then while we hurl our rocks.
Oddly, I actually caught that bit on HBO the other night. Quite interesteing show that night, especially as I hadn't seen it in about 4 years.
There's a very insightful comment by 'Columba' about why it's impossible to reason with Muslims, at
http://www.jihadwatch.org/archives/012989.php#comments
"It's significant that most other belief systems (including secular ones) base their truth claims on ... well, truth. Someone converting to the belief system would do so on the grounds that the system had somehow proven itself to be a valid way of looking at everything.
Islam's call to conversion is entirely different; it's based on power. Not just the threat "convert or die," but even the claim that "Islam is stronger," a claim we've been hearing more frequently these days. Not that it's true, but that it holds power.
There's little attempt to convince intellectually, but rather a call to join the winning army: might makes right. And that's a powerful appeal to people already inclined toward arrogance and violence."
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