The Midget Prince and the Weapon of Doom

Crossposted at The Blasphemous Book of Queen Kafirtiti

1. In the end days of man, before his foolishness caused the entire world to go mad, there were wise men. Men who could create powerful weapons out of the smallest grains of sand. For verily did not our Lord say, "If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you."

2.  And such men had deep knowledge, and great faith, and wisdom.  But by treachery and deceit, did their dangerous knowledge fall into the hands of wicked men, who would think nothing of using this knowledge to destroy the world and all that was in it, including themselves, for in the end, that is what tyrants and fools alike do, when they possess knowledge of which they are unworthy.

3.  And many years had passed, since the wise men discovered the power to destroy utterly, and now the wicked men of the world all possessed this power, and still others, even more evil were looking to possess the power to destroy utterly. 

4.  And behold, on the solemn Day of Remembrance, where the freeborn men in the Land of Liberty remember their Fallen Heroes, who died that they may live in Peace and Freedom,  an evil man rose from the Misty Half-Peninsula of the Ignorant. He thought himself to be a god, but he was a tyrant, and a fool, and a midget.

5.  He decided to show the world that he now possessed the power to destroy utterly, and he unleashed the Fires of Hell,  causing a great many to fear and wonder.

6.  But in the Land of Liberty, the Fool King made empty threats against the midget Prince, and he was scorned and ridiculed, for he was at heart a coward, and the tyrants of the world and the free born men alike knew he would do nothing but talk, because that is what fools do. 

7.  And the people in the Land of Liberty did wax exceedingly dull and fat, having forgotten the Prophecies written down from long ago.  And they did not listen to their prophets, neither did they heed their warnings, but went from bad to worse, until the day of reckoning, when all was fair and bright in the world, and they considered that the world would continue thus, as it has always been, so it always would be.

8.  Alas, they were wrong.  For in the end days of man, before his foolishness caused the whole world to go mad,  before the Manipulators of Perception and the Soothsayers arose and led many astray, and deceived even the faithful, there were wise men,  prophets who spoke the truth,  and in those days, the prophets were called 'comedians'.

Incident At Los Varoces - Stan Freberg