"UK scientists to clone 'British Man' from 9th century, as a last resort in the war on terror

"UK scientists to clone 'British Man' from 9th century, as a last resort in the war on terror. 

A recently found 1,200-year-old fossil is giving anthropologists new insights into a warrior-like, bipedal masculine human specimen they have identified as Testiculus Englishmanus, a mysterious ancestor of modern-day British men. 

The remains were discovered in Wessex, at the site of the historic Battle of Edington (present-day Wiltshire), where in May, 878 AD, patriotic Anglo-Saxons defeated "The Heathen Army" of the Viking invaders, leading to the eventual liberation and unification of England. 

The 6 foot-long fossil reveals that the extinct early man of England possessed two large working testicles, which shatters all modern theories about the origins of today's residents of the British Isles."

GO READ THE WHOLE THING. 

Jeez, let's just hope he's not a "racist", or anti-LGBT, or anything like that. Cuz if he is, we'll just have to give up altogether.

AND THEN THERE'S THIS: