Your Invoice

Barack Obama
1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NW
Washington D.C. 20500

23 March 2009

Dear Mr. Obama,

It has come to our attention that there seems to be some outrage in your political circles over certain bonuses legally and contractually paid to certain executives of a certain industry. And how that same political circle now feels compelled in their outrage to demand restitution and recompense from those certain executives.

Quite frankly we find the outrage on your part laughable when in fact the amount comes to roughly fifty cents for every man woman and child in the United States. Kindly save the stamp and let them keep the money. I will get by without that fifty cents.

Meanwhile, since assuming your current position, you have run up a bill – using the 3,000,000,000,000 dollar figure (that’s a lot of zeroes, isn’t it) – that would cost every man woman and child approximately 10,000 dollars each. This is quite another matter worthy of the stamp.

However, since that figure is ever changing and ever growing, I submit it for illustrative purposes only.

The People of Illinois, however, have another issue they would like to address, since we’re talking about fees paid for shoddy work.

It has to come their attention that on January 4, 2005 you contractually agreed, verbally, to serve the People of Illinois as their Senator to the United States Senate for a period of six years. An obligation you have not kept.

As the average Salary of a Senator is $ 169,300 annually, that would come out to a 6 year payout of $1,015,800 paid to you to work for The People of Illinois.

Now, allowing a generous 4 weeks vacation – far more than the average American worker gets – we come to 48 weeks of actual paid work annually we arrive at a figure of $937,661.54 for 6 years of work. But we will round off to $937,661 and allow you to keep the 54 cents, very close to the amount you wish to recoup for every man woman and child in America. That’s fair, isn’t it?

Further, 48 weeks times 5 days times 6 years means you should have worked 1,440 days to fill your aforementioned contractual obligation.

But we find, as of August 11, 2008 you have worked just 144 days, 10 percent of that to which you agreed. We find the rest of the time you were busy interviewing for your new position. Quite frankly we find it unacceptable that this was done on company time.

Using rough calculations 10 percent of $937.661 is $93,766 worth of work you have actually done. The remainder, was money paid or to be paid for work never completed.

That amount is $843,895.

We are not a heartless lot and it has come to our attention that, since accepting your new position, you and your family have been forced to move into government housing. Should you feel the need to make arrangements on this bill please contact your local representative to discuss terms.

Again, the amount due The People of Illinois by you for contractual obligations unfulfilled is $843,895.

Please remit. Or return to those duties at once.

Sincerely,

Midnight Rider

Representative at Large for We The People

p.s. please do not dither over the fuzzy math and assumptions in the above. It’s no worse than anything We the People have ever seen come out of D.C.