Dear Muslim Man Complaint Box

An advice column for Jihadis - The Dear Muslim Man Complaint Box:


Dear Muslim Man Complaint Box,

I saw on the TV that there is a show now with a woman host. This is not very bad by itself because the woman was dressed in accordance with the laws of Islam and did not expose herself and inflame the lust of any male guests. However, this woman was having a talk with guests and things got a bit out of control when the woman host said "no, I don't think so" to one of the guests. I was so mad I told my wife to drown herself in the bathtub while I finished watching the show. Then, later in the show, the host says "you are wrong" to a doctor! I could not believe it!

Please see if you could beat this woman with a chain and I thank you in advance.


and this one


Dear Muslim Man Complaint Box,

This is a complaint in general about women these days. Things are getting out of control with the influences of the West and they are more willing than ever to speak their minds. Yesterday I thought I heard a woman whisper "Ally McBeal" in a marketplace to another woman and then their heads turned to each other like they might be making eye-contact through the mesh screens hiding their eyes. I do not know if anything can be done about this, but I would like to find myself a good Muslim wife.

Also death to America, death to Israel, yadda, yadda, yadda.


and then, there's one from this poor fellow:


Dear Muslim Man Complaint Box,

I like cowboys and I think that means I have to cut my hands off. That kind of sucks.


It's a hardknock life.