Hey Muslims, just because you hear strange gruntings, groanings, exhalations, and the occastional scream, emanating from the bathroom does not mean their are devils haunting the toilet.
If we happen to be in an Islamic Paradise, we might be completely surprised that many Muslims still believe these Islamic voodoos. For example, if you are in a village in Bangladesh or Pakistan, you will come across with many devout Muslims who will vouch that they had seen jinns inside their primitive latrines. A few of them might even swear that the local Imam or an Islamic mendicant had been able to chase out jinns and devils from their toilets when the jinns or devils caught their women in the toilets. Note that it is usually the women (pretty ones) who fall victims to the jinns and devils residing in rural Islamic latrines.
Please do not laugh. If we were to believe the following ahadith then it is certainly true that Islamic toilets are the perennial abodes of jinns and devils.
In Sunaan Abu Dawud (1.0006) we read that toilets are frequented by jinns and devils. Sunaan ibn Majah (1.296) writes that devils visit public toilets.
Let us read in full the first hadis:
Sunaan Abu Dawud, Book 1, Number 0006:
Narrated Zayd ibn Arqam:
The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said:
These privies are frequented by the jinns and devils. So when anyone amongst you goes there, he should say: "I seek refuge in Allah from male and female devils."
- Pray Before Entering an Islamic ToiletSince jinns and devils visit Islamic toilets, Muhammad instructed his followers to offer prayer when entering a lavatory. We have already read a hadis on this. Here are a few more.
- Pray when answering the call of nature…(Sahih Bukhari, 1.4.144)
When you enter a lavatory say, “O Allah, I seek refuge in Thee from wicked and noxious things."…(Sahih Muslim, 3.0729) - When entering a toilet, say a prayer: O’ Allah I seek refuge with you from all offensive and wicked things (evil deeds and evil spirits)…(Sunaan Nasai, 1.19)
To screen you from jinns, when visiting toilet say Bismillah…(Sunaan Tirmidhi, 130) Do Not Hold Your Penis With Your Right Hand
Uh Imam, there's a problem here. You see, my Johnson is so big, I have to hold it with both hands, so I can not refrain from holding it with my right hand.
Is there a special toilet prayer for those who are burdened with enormous schlongs?
Bwahahahahahahaha!
7 comments:
It amazes me that some Muslims (at least) actually still worry about jinns.
Was Allah originally a jinn, or something? He sure has a lot of rules. Maybe idjits following those rules give him more power.
I've been told that size in the Arab world doesn't compare to infidels' size. Maybe they're waging jihad because they're under-endowed.
It would seem so, considering they can hold it with one hand.
Poor schmucks.
"I've been told that size in the Arab world doesn't compare to infidels' size. Maybe they're waging jihad because they're under-endowed."
Generations of inbreeding and cousin marriage makes most muslim men very small, but in my experience it works in the opposite way for muslim women, who if left to develop naturally, have huge juicy vaginas and enormous clits the size of an egg.
That's why many underendowed muslim 'males' want their women to have clitoridectomies and chop the labia off.
What muslim 'man' wants to go down on his wife and find she's got a bigger bell-end than he has?
Gotta love these erudite discussions at IBA.
No sarcasm intended or implied.
:^)
Dare I put muffdiver's comment up as Infidel Quote of the Day?
;-)
Pastorius,
I wonder if the comment will show up on various Google alerts?
Keep an eye on that site meter!
I don't get Google alerts, so I don't know what you mean.
Post a Comment