U.S. PRESIDENT BOWS AND APOLOGIZES TO JAPANESE ROBOT

(AP) President Barack Obama, on a state visit to Japan, met with a Japanese Military Robot and apologized for America's unleashing of the Imperialist Weapon of Capitalist Oppression known as Godzilla. 

This marks the first time an American President has publicly admitted that Godzilla was, in fact, a weapon developed by the U.S. Dept. of Defense during the Cold War. 

Rumors have swirled for years that Godzilla was meant to be used on the Soviet Union. But President Eisenhower decided to use it on the Japanese, instead, "just for the heck of it". 

President Obama is hoping the Bow and Apology will suffice to ease tensions with our trading partner Japan. If the humility and atonement do not do the job, he threatens to have First Lady, Michelle Obama, unleash her booty-shaking dance of death.