An Islamic Solution to the “Flying While Muslim” Problem
Cox and Forkum have a novel solution to the problem of Flying Imams. However, I think this solution is unsatisfactory, because it may alienate the Muslims worldwide, hurt their feelings, cause them humiliation and all the other things that make them blow stuff up. We must show sensitivity.
In that spirit, I have decided to enlist a well-respected Islamic Sheikh, to tackle the problem in an Islamic way, thus pleasing everybody (just like TIME Magazine). Sheikh Hussein Abu Hussein Al-Outragi has this to say about Muslims flying planes:
![Picture: Sheikh Al-Outragi says, "The airplane did not exist at the time of Prophet Mohammad (P[eanut]B[utter]UH). It is an infidel invention and therefore HARAM!"](http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/2745/3488/320/377580/sheikh-decree.jpg)
(Click to view full size)
The decree cannot be argued against: the only permissible air transport device for the pious Muslim is that which existed at Mohammad’s time. Fortunately, such a device did exist and, in fact, enjoys time-honored status in Islam:
(Click to view full size)
Who said not all conflicts had a diplomatic solution?
In that spirit, I have decided to enlist a well-respected Islamic Sheikh, to tackle the problem in an Islamic way, thus pleasing everybody (just like TIME Magazine). Sheikh Hussein Abu Hussein Al-Outragi has this to say about Muslims flying planes:
![Picture: Sheikh Al-Outragi says, "The airplane did not exist at the time of Prophet Mohammad (P[eanut]B[utter]UH). It is an infidel invention and therefore HARAM!"](http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/2745/3488/1600/492135/sheikh-decree.jpg)
(Click to view full size)
The decree cannot be argued against: the only permissible air transport device for the pious Muslim is that which existed at Mohammad’s time. Fortunately, such a device did exist and, in fact, enjoys time-honored status in Islam:
(Click to view full size)
Who said not all conflicts had a diplomatic solution?
13 Comments:
So now you want us to stop using planes. What else? Ban all Muslims from the internet?
Yes, Mr. Muslim Unity, now that you bring it up, why don't we ban all of you from the internet as well.
Great post, Zionist Youngster. Freaking hilarious.
Muslim Unity,
Dictionary.com 1st result for "satire":
sat·ire /ˈsætaɪər/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[sat-ahyuhr] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.
That, Pastorius, is my predicament: I was looking for comedy in the Muslim world, but Ayatollah Khomeini said there was no humor or fun in Islam.
We have, of course, previously noted the fact that Muslims seem to lack the sense for irony. Witness the fact that they have responded to the Pope's saying that Islam has a violent streak by being violent.
That is ironic, but, of course, Muslims don't recognize it.
Sad thing is, all the world is laughing at them and they don't even know it.
It's kind of sad because it's like laughing at a retarded person, but damn, you've got to admit, it is really funny.
Muslim Unity,
Muslims should at least stop using computers with Intel processors, developed by the "evil zionist sons of apes and pigs" in Haifa.
VonStierlitz,
Good point. Computer must be considered haram by them because of that.
Muslim Unity,
Muslims should stop using anything invented by "infidels". So yes, the internet as well.
Linda
Pastorius,
"Witness the fact that they have responded to the Pope's saying that Islam has a violent streak by being violent."
The first pic is from exactly that incident. It's the showcase illustration for Islamic outrage, hence the name "Al-Outragi". But that name has an additional origin: Sheikh Rage (Jihad Watch, December 6, 2006).
zionist youngster,
That is brilliant! The cox&forkum cartoon as well as your picture and drawing together with the text make for comedy perfection.
Today I really needed a laugh as I find more and more signs of Islamofascist expansion lately.
But seriously. Why should Muslims fly with other people?
If they want to blow themselves up - I would not mind that much as long as it would be over Muslim lands.
And why should we share the Internet. Let them make their own. In fact let them manage without any goods produced in the west. It would serve as a lesson, I believe.
"And why should we share the Internet. Let them make their own. In fact let them manage without any goods produced in the west. It would serve as a lesson, I believe."
I'm afraid the "lesson" would be lost on these luddites.
Maybe, if we get the word out about all the things invented by the evil Jooz, the Muslims will stop using them.
Someone should do a post on everything invented by Jews. That'd be great.
Pastorius,
Elder of Ziyon does that once in a few posts.
This idea is insightful and clever. No, wait, the other thing: retarded.
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