Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Adventure of a Lifetime

Here’s an e-mail that’s doing the rounds at the moment. Apologies to the author, but I have no idea who wrote it, so I cannot give the credit to that person.

Now here’s a thought . . . . If you are ready for the adventure of a lifetime, try this:

a.. Go to Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq illegally.

Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.

b.. Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family.

c.. Demand that all nurses and doctors be fluent in English, and that all food be cooked according to your special specifications in the hospital.

d. Demand free local government forms, bulletins, etc. be printed in English.

e.. Procreate abundantly.

f.. Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behaviour with, ‘It is a cultural thing; you wouldn’t understand.’

g.. Keep your original identity strong. Fly your previous country’s national flag from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window, or on your car bumper.

h.. Speak only English at home and in public, and make sure that your children do likewise.

i.. Demand classes on English culture in the Muslim school system.

j.. Demand a local country driver license or national insurance number equivalent.

k.. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimise your unauthorised, illegal, presence in Pakistan , Afghanistan or Iraq.

l.. Drive around with no vehicle registration or insurance and ignore local traffic laws.

m.. Insist that local country law enforcement teaches English to all its officers..

n.. Organise protest marches against your host country, inciting violence against non-white, non-Christians, and the government that let you in.

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