The Republican Ticket will consist of Joe Biden, with Jeb Bush on the VP slot.
The Democrat Ticket will consist of Hilario Clinton, with Juana McCain on the VP slot. (Yes, that's right! They're both going to undergo Gender Transformations.)
The primary issue separating the two parties (which, it must be remembered, are supposed to represent the Will of We the People) will be whether or not to levy a Carbon Tax on Abortion Clinics.
The Democrat ticket will be all for an outright tax on Abortion Clinics for releasing pollutants into the Biosphere.
The Republican ticket will say no to an outright tax, insisting, instead, that Abortion Clinics should receive Carbon Credits for recycling Aborted babies.
5% of Americans will vote and the Republican Joe Biden will win in a landslide on the strength of his improbable, yet somehow genius campaign slogan,
"Yo, yo, yo, my Niggers gon' run NSA all up in yo' ass, biatch."
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