Satire?

From Pakistan Today (followup to this earlier post here at Infidel Bloggers Alliance, emphases mine):

Council of Islamic Ideology declares women’s existence anti-Islamic

Islamabad - Sharia Correspondent: The Council of Islamic Ideology (CII) concluded their 192nd meeting on Thursday [March 13, 2014] with the ruling that women are un-Islamic and that their mere existence contradicted Sharia and the will of Allah. As the meeting concluded CII Chairman Maulana Muhammad Khan Shirani noted that women by existing defied the laws of nature, and to protect Islam and the Sharia women should be forced to stop existing as soon as possible. The announcement comes a couple of days after CII’s 191st meeting where they dubbed laws related to minimum marriage age to be un-Islamic.

After declaring women to be un-Islamic, Shirani explained that there were actually two kinds of women – haraam and makrooh. “We can divide all women in the world into two distinct categories: those who are haraam and those who are makrooh. Now the difference between haraam and makrooh is that the former is categorically forbidden while the latter is really really disliked,” Shirani said.

He further went on to explain how the women around the world can ensure that they get promoted to being makrooh, from just being downright haraam. “Any woman that exercises her will is haraam, absolutely haraam, and is conspiring against Islam and the Ummah, whereas those women who are totally subservient can reach the status of being makrooh. Such is the generosity of our ideology and such is the endeavour of Muslim men like us who are the true torchbearers of gender equality,” the CII chairman added.

Officials told Khabaristan Today that the council members deliberated over various historic references related to women and concluded that each woman is a source of fitna and a perpetual enemy of Islam. They also decided that by restricting them to their subordinate, bordering on slave status, the momineen and the mujahideen can ensure that Islam continues to be the religion of peace, prosperity and gender equality.

Responding to a question one of the officials said that international standards of gender equality should not be used if they contradict Islam or the constitution of Pakistan that had incorporated Islam and had given sovereignty to Allah. “We don’t believe in western ideals, and nothing that contradicts Islam should ever be paid heed. In any case by giving women the higher status of being makrooh, it’s us Muslims who have paved the way for true, Sharia compliant feminism,” the official said.

The CII meeting also advised the government that to protect Islam women’s right to breathe should also be taken away from them. “Whether a woman is allowed to breathe or not be left up to her husband or male guardian, and no woman under any circumstance whatsoever should be allowed to decide whether she can breathe or not,” Shirani said....

Read the rest HERE, and basic information about the Council of Islamic Ideology is HERE. Note the following from the latter:

Council of Islamic Ideology (Urdu: اِسلامی نظریاتی کونسِل) is a constitutional body responsible for giving legal advice on Islamic issues to the Government of Pakistan and the Parliament.

Here we are — in the 21st Century. Some of us live in the 21st Century, that is.

Now, could the article be satiric, along the lines of "A Modest Proposal" by Jonathan Swift? Probably is, and one hopes so.  Nevertheless, Islamic misogyny is real; see "Is Islam Misogynistic?", an essay by an Arab-American woman, for example.

After all, if satire is to be satire, there has to be something terribly wrong, something terribly strong, so as to be worthy of satire.  Therefore, we can conclude that Islam today is predominantly misogynistic.

Meanwhile, the West too often gives into the wearing of hijabs and the practice of certain forms to shari'a.  And the West whitewashes Islam as well.

Islam is rotten — through and through.

How To Apologize To Karzai

Found at Right Truth:

Song Parody: Strangers On My Flight

An oldie but a goodie:

Video: Tolerance Test for Muslims

The creator of the following video said,

This is the Muslim tolerance test. If a Muslim can tolerate watching this video without wanting to stone me to death afterwards, then they are not fundamentalists.

Related videos HERE.

Muhammad, The Night Before Christmas

From this post at Feed Your ADHD:

It was the night before Christmas and Muhammad was confused.

Should Muslims have fun holidays like the Christians and Jews?

8 days of Hanukkah or a fat Jinn in a red suit,

Who used reindeers not camels to carry his loot?

And what kind of presents would Muhammad think best?

Barbies in burkas and suicide vests?

It had to be something the kafurs would envy

Teddy bears named Muhammad or something trendy.

But that’s too much work for a man who had fits

With angels who’d scare him out of his wits.

It would have to be simple and easy to do

And try not to get sick with that kafur swine flu

So he laid on his bed, the left side of course,

Couldn’t lay on his back considering the source

Of Sharia and Hadith and all those rules

Can’t have kafurs thinking we’re fools.

As he laid on his left side, trying hard not to sleep,

When in crept a dog without making a peep.

He said to Muhammad, such an idea I have

I’d tell you now, but we’re forbidden to laugh

Muhammad was startled by the sight of the dog

They’re considered impure if you read all the blogs

But with the crescent moon setting he had to decide

Listen to the dog or forget the yuletide.

So the dog said to Muhammad this has to be done right

Or the Sunni and Shia will start a big fight

And that damned winged horse that flew to the sky

That screwed up the prayers, is it 3 or is it 5?

But Muhammad disagreed; the dog be can’t be right

I’ve given them holidays for at least a few nights

Like Ramadan to starve them from sun up to sun down

A billion hungry Muslims all running around

A month of No sex, food, or water, from dawn until dusk

And then the celebration of Eid, where they can pig out and lust

They can eat lots of dates and wear all their best clothes

And visit a gravesite … before they’re blown up by their foes.

They can ask forgiveness and even pray for more wives

It’s all about sex, haven’t I given them good lives?

Plus, the angel Gabe descends with white clothes

For Muhammad’s grandsons, all dead, but who knows

We eat lots of food on all 3 days

And pay zakat to the poor but not if they’re gay

I have already given them this holiday you see,

But only when the moon is sighted by three

And it’s never the same time, so they have to remember

Like this year it fell on the 21 of September

And the dog said to Muhammad, 30 days of fasting, 3 days to over eat

If that’s the best you can do, they’ve got you beat.

The kafurs give presents, charity and good cheer

And it’s always the same month year after year

Besides, said Muhammad, for 1400 years it’s been a tradition

To make fun of the holidays of the Jews and the Christian.

We can’t change it now, it’s gone on far too long

Plus Sharia forbids us from singing a song

But what of the treaty of Hudaibiyya, argued the dog with skill

Where you denied you were a prophet so you wouldn’t be killed

If you could fake it then you could fake it now

Say Happy Holidays to the kafurs and don’t have a cow

Tell Muslims to be tolerant or go back where they’re from

Or they’ll be eating the fruit of the Az Zaqqum

To celebrate life’s mysteries should be each human’s right

It shouldn’t be a reason for Muslims to hate or to fight.

Forget it said Muhammad, as they’ve ignored much that I’ve said

They follow their scholars and the Hadith they’ve read.

And they made up the Quran long after I was dead.

Good luck to you all, I’m going back to bed.

And that’s your Muslim winter holiday. And to all a good night

And of course we all know the dog was right.

The above was a guest post by Az Zaqqum, Islamic scholar to the Kafurs.