Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2009 Predictions

Days after taking office Pres Obama will be forced into War to aid Israel (three days after they've asked for it).

Russia-China-Iran-Venezuela will officially be considered the new Axis of Evil- which we already know, but three days later Pres Obama will admit this. In the meantime he'll refer to them as the Axis of Improper Parenting and Financial Instability and Brown/Yellow Skinned Individuals.



The USA will be attacked via Terrorists who crossed in through our porous Southern and Northern borders, causing the Border Security Supporters to rise up harder, the Minute Men gain popularity once again and form a viable third party. Conservatives take control of the Republican Party in reaction. Democrats turn Blue Dog, while the hard left who propelled Pres Obama to the top become more critical of Obama.

By this time, Obama has a full head of gray hair, he admits this three days later, and he's lost control of one of his twitching eyes, making him the first eye-patch wearing President of these United States of America. The NAEPWPA (National Association of Eye-Patch Wearing Pirates of America) announces it intends on naming a holiday after Obama, a huge honor.



I know my predictions are sort of "well-duhs" - But maybe you have more creative ones??

More Pirates @ genycon.blogspot.com

41 comments:

Pastorius said...

I predict Obama will start a new trend where Gentiles where tiny Yarmulkes on their heads to show their support for Israel and the Jews.

(I got that from your drawing.)

midnight rider said...

I predict Always on Watch will be Infidel Babe of the Year (love those biceps).

Epaminondas will be Time Person of the Year through some sort of extortion, bribes and petty larceny.

Revereridesagain Director of Homeand Security and Propaganda Minister. Also Head Librarian at the Library of Congress.

Myself and Pastorius will be found slobbering drunker than monkeys at some border states cantina, guns drawn waiting for the showdown, arrested, incarcerated, bailed out by Sir Publius who has made the money by extorting Epa because he knows how Epa got the Time honor who turns to the much phtotgraphed and now world reknowned AoW for advice. She contacts Revere who contacts the authorities and 'splains to them Pasto & I are undercover whereupon we are released, return to the cantina, recommence to slobbering drooling guns drawn drunken slovenly behavior, Sir Publius serving & joined by Damien, Tonto and all the rest where we finally establish our Utopian Infidel Paradise.

And since Pastorius is involved, you can imagine just what that will be like. . .

midnight rider said...

Ok. I will say that paradise includes blondes and bourbon. Check your burqa at the gate.

Pastorius said...

As long as Anggun Cipta Sasmi comes along, I'm happy.

midnight rider said...

ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY!!! And, you know, the whole slobbering drunken guns drawn thing well, if she wants in on that then by all means. . .

(does she have a sister?)

Pastorius said...

I wonder if she likes to do role-playing games in the bedroom:

http://www.wlwt.com/cnn-news/18196466/detail.html

midnight rider said...

I saw either another similar story or maybe an update to that one, but the wife admitted it was an accident and the two were trying to get back together.

Nothing like rough make up sex.

Pastorius said...

Well, you know, my radio show co-host is known for that kind of behavior. He explained the whole thing to me.

midnight rider said...

Did you take notes for later? did fu2urman use any audio-visuals? Can you forward them to me?

Found the story I mentioned. It was an update to your story. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28070536/

'course it's msnbc so who knows

(I predict Keith Olberman and Chris Matthews will have an on-air knock down drag 'em out over who shakes their -- leg -- more at the sight of That One)

Pastorius said...

Of course, she doesn't want to admit it. What woman wants to admit she likes her husband to pull a gun on her, tie her up, rip her clothes off, and well, I'll leave the rest to the imagination.

midnight rider said...

My imagination. That's trouble.

Pastorius said...

I guess it depends on the woman.

midnight rider said...

Any of the 6 on your Happy New Year post. And if they have a gun, oh man.

Chicks with guns. And Blades. And beer. . .

I think we need Sir Publis or Epa or Revere or AoW to weigh in with predictions before we get ourselves in dire trouble. . .

andre79 said...

He. He. I predict Obama will do nothing against the PC plaguing your/our life. If you are a mixed black/white (e.g. mixed) on recently-converted Muslim (you'll HAVE to add GAY to your resume)for sure the Govt of Illinois is up for grabs if you meet the conditions. Good luck, the contest is open to everyone (unless your name is not Caroline Kennedy and you don't say "you know" as every second phrase. After all the press would be embarrassed to support such as candidate only few months after they attacked Palin). I still wish for a Saturday Night Live featuring Caroline; but that's a wishful thinking.

midnight rider said...

Um, you know, SNL, like, you know, don't have no one, you like, quite as um eloquent as u, you know, Caroline.

Is it at all possible to FORCE the State of Illinoising to secede. You know, give it back? & all it's pols?

(Ok, we get to keep the Bluesmen in Chicago)

Anonymous said...

you people are awesome but what i want to know is who was that contestant in the Bikini contest that won who was an Iranian in Houston, TX

i ask because i am in Houston TX and am interested in partaking of this hot Iranian Bikini Babes Godly powers of sexy breasts and such?

http://www.iranian.com/PhotoDay/2006/April/Images/h1.jpg

if you, my infidel brothers find out, i promise to do Mohammad proud lol

sorry i'm slightly toasty, the infidel way (hold glass up)

Happy New Year!!!! Let the war continue! CHEERS FROM TEXAS THE REBEL STATE!

midnight rider said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
midnight rider said...

Sir P -- who the hell cares about name. Look at that. . .

ohmygodholyshitwhatfuckingidiotintheirrightmindwouldwanttocoversuchagod'sgiftasthatwithaburqaohmygodlookatthaticesomeonegetmesomeicewhipmebeatmemakemewritebadchecks!

DOES SHE HAVE A SISTER?!?!?!

Anonymous said...

well correct
i'm talking address here
i want me some of that

midnight rider said...

Sir P might I point out that, should you actually manage to obtain this young lady's address and indeed get you some of that, it might not only necessitate a condemning resolution from the Useles Nitwits that you immediately withdraw your forces from the, um, field, but you will probably be in traction for six months, a coma for nine, unable to walk for twelve and it might, just very well might, mean curtains for the free world.

I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors good sir.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

all worth it .. the way to win the war is to bang the f**** out of the muslim hotties with my infidel c*** lol

am i going to far, Pastorius? lol

midnight rider said...

Open Fire, Sir P, Fire one!

Into the, um, ah, breach!

Anonymous said...

i found supposed muslim girl porn sites recently lol we should support such businesses lol

Anonymous said...

the hijabi is the new nunsploitation.. who's with me?

midnight rider said...

Don't know. Who you got there with you? And does her father know? (sound of twelve gauge pump racking a round)

Anonymous said...

hahhaha sorry well girl i mean OF AGE lol.. i thought pedos were just a mohammed thing? lol

midnight rider said...

They are. But I thought in Tejas the girl could be 47 6 teeth straw in her hair (nevermind how it got there) no prospects and her daddy would still be pumping that shotgun. As well as pumping. . . . . .oh nevermind. . .

Pastorius said...

Heh, how funny. I missed all the good times.

That chick is amazing. I hope she doesn't hurt herself on that bikini. Though, if she does, I'd be there to make it all better.

Epaminondas said...

Obama will be caught smoking after pledging to quit, will apologize on national TV saying "I did have smoking with that cigarette" and cry, and Wright and Jesse Jackson will counsel him.

Nancy Pelosi will at least once publicly criticize Obama by reference as not being what he seemed to be.

Medvedev and Putin will begin to publicly argue in the headlines until they duel by assassins. Putin will win, but Sverdlovsk will be uninhabitable for 100 years. A jewish russian gangster will be arrested, and allowed to 'escape' and flee to Israel.

Chavez will sign a treaty with China over trade and their naval base will expand, causing public criticism by future repub condidates.

There will be an incident over border crossing, but it will involve the deaths of illegal aliens, and one lebanese national

Hesham Islam will become director of religious activity for the dept of defense and will become the unofficial spokesman of 'outreach' nationally

IBA unique pageloads will increase by 30% and return visits by 150%

At least ONE major US defense contractor will threaten bankruptcy after cuts made by Obama and will be rescued after pledging to make inner city transit buses power by refined poop products instead of weapons.

David Duke will field a third party and get at least one member elected to congress in either 2010 or 2012

Philip De Wynter's daughter will publicly renounce her past inter-racial relationships for cultural reasons and marry an american decendent of Flemish origins who will turn out to be a member of the COuncil of Conservative Citizens who teaches Kevin McDonald's history classes at U Cal

Ward Churchill will be murdered by a member of Moveon after a fight over a woman who will turn out to be a Sioux princess

Dick Durbin will be implicated by Blago's wife after being discovered together in the Motel Six in Duluth with 2500 valid uncounted Norm Coleman ballots

Billy Mays will be killed by a layed off employee of Ronco's ice fisher division

Barney Frank will be discovered with a 15 year old boy in Bennington VT, after the boy is arrested UI running down the street naked in a snowstorm. He will admit to a 'problem' and continue to serve, introducing the new banking bill prohibiting hetero white males from having more than 2 checking accounts.

Megyn Kelly will leave her husband after reading one of my posts and reveal she is really a brunette and therefore never belonged at Fox to begin with. We will be very happy


For about 6 weeks

And the most difficult prediction of all...despite a regional war threatening or breaking out in the middle east, nothing will change

Pastorius said...

Epa,
You should put those up as a post.

;-)

Always On Watch said...

LOL at this comment thread.

If we're going to have bourbon, I want Jack Black.

I'm partial to special reserve brandy too.

I make a mean sangria, which requires the cheapest red wine, the cheapest pint of brandy, and citrus fruits. We'll need the fixings for that.

Epa can go the bail; Mr. AOW will drive the getaway car.

---------------

Happy New Year!

Always On Watch said...

What kind of smoking will BHO get caught at?

Maybe he'll be in touch with Marion Barry?

Always On Watch said...

Sir Publius,
I love your graphics!

May many of your predictions come true.

Epaminondas said...

Careful what you wish for pasto

midnight rider said...

Oh....my....God....

Marion Barry and That One in the same town. . .

midnight rider said...

AoW -- Jack Black -- for you, my dear, we step it up a notch to Gentleman Jack.

Anonymous said...

thanks AoW!

Unknown said...

One year later, you're batting .200 - indeed, the right wing has consolidated control of the GOP and the left wing has become more critical of Obama. You were wrong about everything else.

midnight rider said...

Who was that masked Pontiff???

Pastorius said...

I don't know, but he didn't seem to notice the humorous nature of the post.

LOL

Sir Publius Platypus was a funny dude. I wonder what happened to him.