Saturday, December 10, 2005

FU2RMAN & FRIENDS 'TOP TEN LIST' ON: 72 VIRGINS

Sometimes a little humor can be very therapeutic in difficult times.








  1. Why exactly 72 virgins (or whatever the number is) ? Why not 71 or 73?
  2. Does eternal bliss = (1) virgin every hour x (3) days straight! Its the only "72" calculation I could come up with.
  3. Or maybe the cosine of pie = 72???
  4. Once all 72 are eventually non-virgins, are they still “available” for any future fun? Or by definition, does that mean ... :(
  5. So if you are shit outta luck after 72, is the potential suicide bomber aware of this small but very important fact? I don't know about you but this would definitely affect my decision making process. I'm usually pro-choice but this would surely make me pro-life…Mine!!
  6. Does one need to get married to these virgins before one can actually have sex with them?
  7. If not, would that be a sin?
  8. Can one actually commit a sin in heaven? Especially if this was all set up by, you know, the big man.
  9. And if it is a sin, do you then lose all your "privileges" and are you now headed "elsewhere"? What an ironic and unexpected turn of events that would be, huh?! I just hope these people have really thought through all the possibilities before the "big bang".
  10. And finally, and this really is the big one for me, what if, (drum roll please) ......SEX DOES NOT EXIST......in the after life?
Suicide Bomber Recruiter to Suicide Bomber after the fact - "Well, ummm, gee....Sorry 'bout that. I guess it was just a small misunderstanding. Forgive me please????"

10 comments:

Krishna109 said...

Why 72? Golly gee- you missed the most obvious reason of all:
"72 is the maximum number of spheres that can touch another sphere in a lattice packing in 6 dimensions".

I though everyone knew that!

lol :-)

(Ok, I admit it- I didn't really know that. In fact, I'm not sure if I want to know that).

I had to look it up. This is very "Off Topic", but here's a really great site about numbers I recently discovered: "What's Special About This Number?"
http://www.stetson.edu/~efriedma/numbers.html

Lots of interesting (& totally useless) trivia!

re- lol

(I should probably email the site and tell them that they missed the most obvious thing about the number 72: the # of virgins one get in paradise. Heck, everyone knows that!)

Nora (LV) said...

THe intersting thing is that Osama said there were 99 virgins.

And there are filologues that think that the Arabic word for "hurĂ­es" means also grapes- so they are killing for 72 grapes. Wow.

Krishna109 said...

Imagine going to the trouble of blowing yourself up, and finding out that houris really weren't virgins after all! (I'd imagine that would result in a shahid with a real case of . . . sour grapes!

hehehe :-)

Anonymous said...

well im not a guy but, might virgins be alittle boring? wouldnt it be more fun to get some sleezy girls who had been around....if you know what I mean....

JMJ said...

blueslord and Krishna109,

Thanks for the replies!

For my own education, where did you find , I assume Arabic terms, "houris" and "shahid" and their potential translations?

Is there a gold standard for translation into English? Or even mulutiple sources? I know Spencer does this well.

I feel that this "Arabic" translation thing is one of the tools they readily use to maintain their stealth and, as I think Pastorius said, "talk, talk, fight, fight".

"We are a religion of peace". Except when they are speaking in Arabic. Who knows what incitement to violence the immans are preaching.

As much as this was all for humor and laughs, the bigger point was to show the "holes" in one of the "teachings" of this religion.

I intend to do more of this in the future with the Fu2rman & Friends "Top Ten List".

I am also open to potential "teachings" that would work well for this vehicle. However, there are so many of these that coming up with them should not be a problem.

Still, I would be interested in any suggestions on "teachings" for this topic that you may have?

JMJ

JMJ said...

Tu s. Tin,

Thanks so much for your reply!

By the way, no disrespect to you or your female collegues. I was just working with what I had and tried to follow the jist of the concept.

In fact, I am working on a "Top Ten List" strictly dedicated to the "Female Suicide Bomber".

ie - Does the Female Suicide Bomber also get 72 virgins but the male version? This seems like more of a punishment than a reward. That would definitely be one "unsatisfied" Female Suicide Bomber. (Not to be crude but) Can anyone say "premature Ej......". Seems to me like the Muslim female once again gets overlooked at the pleasure of the Muslim male.

Kind of weak right now but you get the idea.

JMJ said...

blueslord,
I am unfamiliar with the term filologues. Can you help me out?
JMJ

Anonymous said...

I dont know alot about the muslim beliefs but it seems a heaven with No men would be a greater reward for them. and say what ever you like about women Im not easily offended.

Anonymous said...

Opinionated has linked to this

J said...

blueslord, i think it could even be 72 raisins