8. You refine heroin for a living; but you have a moral objection to beer.
7. You own a $500 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher; but can't afford decent shoes.
6. You have more wives than teeth.
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
4. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
3. You consider television dangerous; but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.
2. You've never been asked, 'Does this burka make my ass look big?'
1. A common compliment is, 'I love what you've done with your cave.'
H/T: Doug Ross @ Journal via LGF